


To live is so startling

by orphan_account



Series: not knowing when the dawn will come [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: M/M, brief mentions of Baze in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 19:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12871551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Maybe this is when he was always meant to meet Cassian: in the negative space between his old life and whatever lies ahead, where every day is more confusing than the last, where this odd man – with whom he has everything and nothing in common – fits in perfectly."a tiny sequel to I felt it shelter to speak to you





	To live is so startling

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is a really rather small continuation to I felt it shelter to speak to you, from bodhi's pov this time around <3  
> this is a bit different from the last one, since it didn't stem from a character study, but rather an episode. hopefully there's enough thematic consistency regardless hahaha  
> i have been thinking of writing this since i posted the first one, but college has been an actual nightmare  
> title from another emily dickinson letter, because i guess that's who i am as a person lol  
> i hope you guys enjoy it <3

Throughout his life, Bodhi has always contented himself with being enough: good enough at flying, friendly enough with others, comfortable enough with his lot in life. Some people were meant to be more, he’d rationalize to himself, drinking at the cantina after a day’s work, some people were meant to want to be more, and some weren’t.

Then there was the message, and the Death Star, the blueprints, the plans to overthrow an entire galactic institution; he stands at the eye of the storm for the first time in his life, and overwhelming isn’t strong enough a word.

“I feel like I’m playing at being a storybook hero with this whole thing, to be honest.”

At least the company is nice. The captain is a sharp, pragmatic man with a biting sense of humor and dark circles like bruises around his eyes, and Bodhi takes to him almost instantly.

“Will we get medals, you think?”

“Gods, I hope not,” he says laughing, and Bodhi can’t help but laugh along. “That would be awful, can you even imagine?”

Cassian looks – good, really good with an easy smile and a one-liner, warm and easygoing like he wouldn’t have assumed the man was capable of. He looks younger, too, closer to the twenty-something man he should be, and the pilot catches himself thinking (a bit wistfully, maybe) that he’d like to have met him before all this, before they grew used to the war and all it entails. In another world, in a different place, would they have been friends? Would they have found this quiet solace in each other then too, would they even have need for it?

Bodhi laughs quietly to himself, shaking his head when the other man looks at him questioningly. Things are what they are, in the end. Maybe this is when he was always meant to meet Cassian: in the negative space between his old life and whatever lies ahead, where every day is more confusing than the last, where this odd man – with whom he has everything and nothing in common – fits in perfectly.

“Suppose we do, though,” Cassian continues after a moment, settling more comfortably against the wall of the ship, “suppose there’s a whole ceremony for it. Could you imagine the look on Baze’s face?”

The captain scowls at nothing, mouth thinning into a thin, downturned arc, and Bodhi realizes - suddenly, incredulously - that he’s attempting to do an impression of the older man. He starts laughing before he’s fully aware of it, reaching up to fix the angle of Cassian’s eyebrows (“they’re straight, see, they just get really low on his face”) and stopping halfway through with his hands on the other man’s temples at the look he gets in return.

“You kissed me yesterday,” Cassian says in a mild tone, but his eyes are almost calculating.

“I did.”

“I thought you were going to do it again.”

“Oh,” he replies, and then again, “oh, I suppose – I mean, I didn’t know if that’d be alright?”

“It is,” he says with half a smile.

“Well, in that case, you could always just kiss me yourself.”

Cassian looks amused at that, his half smile growing into a full one.

“Always?”

“Maybe not always,” Bodhi concedes, “not when I’m flying, for instance. That’d probably be a bad idea.”

“Probably,” the captain agrees with what could pass a solemn look if not for the laughter he couldn’t quite keep from his face.

“Right now, though, you could.”

“Yeah,” Cassian agrees, curling one hand around the back of his head and pulling him closer, “I guess I could.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was 600 words of just sheer flirting smh  
> i'd like to try writing something more character study-ish for bodhi sometime, he is so interesting to write!  
> come talk to me about star wars on taradiddling.tumblr.com


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